7 things tinder taught me about french men
Contrary to popular belief, not all French women are high-maintenance fashionistas who are obsessed with their looks. Nor are all French men smooth-talking womanizers who will say anything to get you in bed. Understanding these traits and the mindset of French men and women is key to dating as an expat. After all, different cultures around the world have a different appreciation of the qualities that make someone a desirable mate.
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When it comes to dating, the French like to play by their own rules and these differ ificantly from other European cultures. While this may take some getting used to as an expat, it can also pose an exciting challenge. While cultural stereotypes would have you believe that they are the masters of romance and seduction, the reality is actually quite different.
Sure, it might be true that both French men and women are generally confident by nature and not afraid to go for what they want. But how they approach the world of dating is arguably far less aggressive than some other cultures. For one, the French tend to dislike making a date obviously romantic and prefer for dating to play a much smaller role in their lives. Unlike in some countries, where people focus their efforts on pursuing partners via one-to-one interactions in potentially romantic settings, French men and women choose to keep things casual and incorporate finding love into their social lives.
Although the French attitude towards dating differs from other European cultures, the ways in which people meet are generally the same. That said, the French certainly have their own preferences. Generally speaking, the French tend to meet their partners through social circles or friends.
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In fact, this remains the most popular way to meet people in France. Men and women enjoy going to dinner parties on the weekends where both singles and those in relationships meet together to have pleasant cultural conversations.
In other countries, if you happen to meet a nice man or woman on such an occasion and find each other interesting, you would most likely expect a date. However, in France, things go a little differently. The French way is to invite you on a walk or a catch-up with friends. Because French men and women prefer to meet people through their social circles, they rarely go on blind dates and prefer to get to know each other in person. That said, Internet dating sites are surprisingly popular in France for men and for women.
This suggests that online dating is not only an accepted way to meet a partner in France, it is also taken quite seriously. As a result, there are now hundreds of different dating sites on the Internet in France; all deed to match sexual or romantic partners. Tinder, Bumble, and Happn continue to remain popular among the millennial generation.
Meanwhile, older adults are turning more to paid online dating services to find relationships. The latter also happens to be among the top five most downloaded dating apps in France. Another way to meet people in France is to Meetup groups and attend local events. There are numerous groups throughout the country that cater to various hobbies and interests.
Many of these are specifically deed for singles who are interested in dating, too. These groups provide a fun and safe way to meet people and develop both friendships and relationships. They usually cater to specific age groups and sexual preferences too, so members can meet like-minded individuals.
The French like to play by their own rules and this transcends to dating etiquette too. For instance, the kinds of dates you might go on during the initial stages of getting to know someone can be unique. In many western cultures, a typical dating scenario usually involves meeting for a drink, going out for dinner, or catching a movie at the cinema.
In France, however, dating can look very different. For instance, sharing a meal with someone has no romantic implication in France.
In fact, it is considered normal for two people of the opposite sex to enjoy dining together; even if one is single and the other is married or in a relationship. Instead, the French prefer to keep things casual during the initial stages of getting to know someone.
This means that dates will likely involve meeting up for casual drinks with a group of friends or taking an afternoon stroll. It just means that they are more focused on getting to know a person before they become involved. And if they do want a relationship, they will certainly let their partner know about it. After all, the French are renowned for being direct when it comes to matters of the heart.
While it might be unfair to stereotype a whole nationthere are certain behavioral traits that you are likely to come across when dating in France. Furthermore, these can differ ificantly from other European countries. Whether you are single or not, you should expect to see a lot of amorous behavior being thrown around; regardless of marital status.
You might say that flirting is an art form in this playful nation; this goes for both sexes, too. French women, for instance, are expected to play to their feminine side and be admired for their beauty and wit. They might smile in excess, blush, and laugh at your jokes, all the while playing with their hair. Interestingly, many find the game more important than the catch.
This flair for flirting is important to be aware of as an expat, as it can sometimes give the wrong idea. To avoid any confusion, it is better to just ask them directly. Surprisingly, the French like to keep a cool distance and not appear too eager when it comes to getting to know a potential love interest. This literally translates to the quarter of an hour of politeness. Just make sure you stick around long enough to see them show up, to be sure.
And when they finally do, they will usually ask for permission first. This is largely due to the fact that in France, kissing on the lips for the first time carries far more weight than in some other countries. In fact, it is seen as a type of unwritten agreement that you are starting an exclusive relationship with someone. It is therefore not a good idea to kiss someone if you do not want to be in a relationship with them; after all, this can give off the wrong al and create misunderstanding.
Because of this aspect of French culture, it is easy to see how the pace at which a relationship might develop is much slower than in some other countries.
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You can generally expect a certain level of intelligence and culture when dating the French. In fact, politics is an important topic of conversation in France and is likely to pop up at some point. Talking about money is generally considered vulgar by French people.
Usually, the man will pay for dinner on the first date, and the woman might pay the next time; but splitting it would simply be seen as tacky. This is good news if you value your independence and want to feel like an equal when dating someone. Fortunately for women, chivalry is certainly not dead in France. French citizens generally pride themselves on their hospitality and manners. So when it comes to dating, men will usually hold the door open for women, make sure they get home safely, and so on.
Aside from good manners, there is another reason for this. In France, women tend to decide if they are dating a person or not, which means that the man is expected to work hard to win her over. And because it might take her several dates before she decides whether she wants to have a relationship with date him or not, the groundwork is fairly ificant.
This perhaps explains why French men have a reputation for being charming and tenacious with women. How a relationship might typically progress in France is really down to the individuals involved — or rather, the woman. And even when a couple has officially become exclusive and sealed the deal with that all-important first kiss, there are still no rules as to when to get intimate or meet the family.
Just like kissing for the first time, sleeping with someone is arguably seen as more meaningful in France. The French may be the masters of flirtation, but their true affection is actually more reserved than you might expect. This is because people are more focused on getting to know someone; therefore, sleeping together is seen as expressing a deeper form of affection.
The good news is that because the French believe in being honest and open when it comes to dating, there is no shame in discussing getting intimate first, too. French people generally like to maintain their independence, so it could be some time before you are introduced to their family and friends. It is more down to the fact that men and women prefer to keep their dating lives private; especially in the initial stages of a relationship.
However, you can assume that once they do invite you to meet their family and friends, the relationship has become serious. After all, French families are generally very private and only the most intimate friends tend to gatherings. Interestingly, not all aspects of dating in France are so traditional.